I feel pathetic. I cannot concentrate, I cannot do any of the work successfully. I just want to be with him and do nothing and think about nothing. I really have become so lazy. What am I supposed to do to fix this hideous illness? I have no clue. I have an important exam tomorrow so I have come home to study for it but all I can do is just thinking about him and thinking about the next time I will be with him. Can this be love? If it is, I really am disappointed. I thought it was something beautiful, something that makes you always happy. But this, whatever this is, is far from that definition. I don't even know if it is right. It has to stop. I hate him for causing all these troubles. My life was so much simpler and easier when he wasn't there. But I cannot imagine any more days without him. I never regret meeting him and being with him. I think I need some time on my own. I cannot just rely on him the whole time. I have to think rationally. I hope it will go away soon..