Just what I have been thinking lately...

Competition. It is inevitable in the world that we live in. But I do not like it. Why can't we just live the way we want? Why do we feel the need to compare ourselves or others with someone else? I do not want to be compared with anyone. I just want to be me, that is all. Sure, I do get good grades at school. But it is not to be praised by others or to win others. I am working hard for myself. Why is it so hard for them to understand? Why do they have to put me next to someone of ability similar to mine and compare us? All I want is to be left alone, no praises, no expectations... If I get a bad grade, that is my problem, not anyone else's. I read somewhere that usually 'fight' starts between two people even when they do not desire it. It is their entourages who encourage them. Let's take a moment and think why would the entourages provoke the 'fight'. Are they just being supportive of their friend? Or is it because they enjoy watching others 'fight'? Honestly, I don't have any clue. I just wish they'd stop.

I've always felt different from others. I do not really fit into the category of people my age. There were times I tried to fit in, and there were times I just ignored and was myself. Now I don't know what to do. I have just been surrounded by people that I don't relate to or talk what is really on my mind to. It seems that nowadays my boyfriend is the only one to whom I can really pour my heart out and express myself. I truely feel lucky about that. The only thing I hope for is to be in an environment where there are people who have similar thoughts as I do. The people I can relate to and share my feelings with..




J'ai eu un rêve hier soir. Il y avait une grande catastrophe. La terre était détruite, les gens perdus... Dans la terre profonde, il y restait un dragon. Oui, je sais c'est n'importe quoi, mais c'est un rêve. Mon frère et ses amis étaient en danger. Je devais leur sauver..

J'ai eu des rêves de ce genre plusieurs fois cette semaine. Je ne sais ni de quoi ils s'agissent, ni ce qu'ils signifient. J'espère que des rêves restent des rêves, pas plus.





xx
Liz

Ahhhh... your name, partiel..

It is coming. I thought it wouldn't be coming for a while but here it is, knocking on my door.. I cannot escape it, nor ignore it. I just have to be brave and deal with it, prepare for it..

Je ne t'aime pas.... partiel.

It is not like I don't understand my classes, nor like I don't like revising. It's just the fact of taking exams that is bothering me. Even if I am ready, when put in a room full of sweating students getting ready for another test in their lives, I get agitated. I just want to get it over with..

J'ai des bonnes notes quand même. Mais cette fois-ci, je ne suis pas sûre si je les aura.. surtout éco et gestion... Je comprends rien dans ces cours.

Donc voilà mon autre excuse de mon absence à venir pendant une semaine.

I hope everyone had spent a wonderful holiday and made a new year's resolution that they will  forget in few weeks like me ; )

Happy new year!


ps. I started yoga! I had my first lesson yesterday and loved it! It really relaxed me both physically and psychologically. I will go there once a week from now on. I hope I don't give up too easily..

xx
Liz