--Mr.D--

2012-02-05T07:35:00.000-08:00

These days it seems like I am reading and watching many things that teach me good lessons. As for today, I watched a movie called 'Desert Flower,' which was recommended by my dear friend Michelle. When I first saw the cover, I saw some cat walk shots and thought it would be some chick flick. But Michelle told me a different story. She said, 'It's very sad.' I thought, 'How can a chick flick can be that sad?' With my doubts, I put the DVD in the CD-ROM and waited for the movie to begin. When the first scene appeared, I realized that this was not going to be some chick flick about the fashion world. I was drawn into the movie the whole time I was watching it and finally when it ended, I had to wipe out some tears I had shed. A long sigh, followed by a plaudit: 'What a great movie.' After everything was done, I searched for the model, Waris Dirie, desert flower, and found a picture of her smiling with the actress/model in the movie. Then I realized that the actress and the real model actually shared the experience, and could understand each other from the deep. Maybe that was why the movie was such a success. It made me think that there are so many different types of life out there in the world, and I am just a nano piece of it. I tell myself and people around me that I have experienced so many things through travelling around and meeting people from different countries. Yet, I am still just a little frog in a well, who got to have a small telescope so that I can take a little glimpse of what is out there. I really thank Michelle for giving me the opportunity to be exposed to what is really going on in another part of the world. It has been an amazing experience, as if I actually shared and felt the pain of the girls in Africa who go through female genital mutilation. This afternoon could have been mundane and insipid, but this movie added a color in it and made my heart warm. I feel again, how happy I am and how I should treat everything and everyone with appreciation. And again, I learned a good lesson.

2012-02-01T11:08:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone. I have settled in Paris quite well. Everything is going great, it seems. I have sorted out my university problems, my housing, bank, phone, and even transportation card. Paris is a great city and I would love to go around here but right now, I am relaxing at home, watching many movies. Last night, I watched a movie called 'We'll Take Manhattan.' It was a movie about David Bailey, the renowned innovative photographer of Vogue, and Jean Shripmton, the most beautiful model in the 60's. I have never heard of both of them before I watched the movie but instantly fell in love with them afterwards. After watching the movie, I gave it a little thought, and came to the conclusion that I will never really be a real artist. Well, at least if I don't change. I love everything about art, but to be an artist is something different from just loving it. It requires courage, and being different from other people. In the movie, Bailey takes pictures in places that can be regarded as absurd and even rubbish. But his brave actions actually brought the fashion industry a whole new world. So, my point here is, you need to be brave enough to be different from others to be a real artist. I always want to do so, and I always just think about it, but I actually never carry it out. I think too much of how others will think about me if I acted differently, while I hate those who only does whatever everyone else does. I am such an ironic person, yes. But doesn't everyone hate those who have the same personality as them? Life is full of irony.

2012-01-24T14:12:00.000-08:00

I don't know how to express this feeling. It is happening again. I hope he stops. I mean I will eventually get tired of him, won't I? I know myself too well. He's just going to be another victim of mine. I really hate myself for being like this, but I just can't help myself. I just get all excited when someone shows interest in me. But this time he seems just so serious. He's saying that he will definitely come see me in Paris and all the things he says... It just feels like it's not right to play with his mind. I know this time I should stop, but he makes my heart beat. But I also know that this will end sooner or later. He's in Korea, how the hell are you going to do anything. I hate long-distance relationships. I should have learned this by now. I mean please, this has to end... thinking about him. Why is he doing this to me? I mean I was all fine until last night when he said all those things... Oh God... please make him stop, or I won't be able to stop this.

2012-01-20T14:38:00.000-08:00

it's been such a long time since I updated my blogger. I have been busy going to different places and meeting my friends and new people. I had to have some time to settle down as well. I am currently in Paris, France. Yes, the city of love, people call it. I am looking for apartments to live and I think I have decided to live with a French family so that I can learn French quickly. They seem really nice and the apartment is big and nice so I think I will settle down quite well.

Right now, I don't really have any personal thoughts that I want to share. I just hope that I settle in quickly and well and go to a nice school here. I will write again when I have something more to say.

from Paris,

Lizzie

2011-12-30T05:05:00.000-08:00

2012, the new year is coming. Tomorrow is the last day of 2011, but I don't feel anything special. People have been asking me about my New Year's Resolutions, and my answer was always the same: 'I don't have one.' Actually, before they brought it up, I totally forgot about it. For me, I'm always thinking about the future and my life at present, so I don't really have to make up a list for the new year. But I guess it is good to write things down because I tend to forget things easily. So here it is, my New Year's Resolutions!

New Year's Resolutions (I know, such a cliche.)

1. Enjoy my life. By this I mean, even if life seems hard and terrible and it feels like God hates me and he's giving me all the hard work, just try to find something special every day. Don't push myself too hard. Life really is too short to just be worried the whole time. And besides, all the things you worry about at one point will always be solved if you try hard. So, don't worry, try to enjoy.

2. Learn French. Yeah, I really should work on this one. I am going to live in Paris for God's sake. I need to communicate with others, don't I?

3. Maybe lose a little weight on my thighs. I know every girl writes this on New Year's Resolutions. But that is how important it is.

4. Save some money for travelling. For summer, I would really like to go to Greece or Italy with my friend.

5. Get scholarship or a part-time job so that I give less pressure to my parents. They have their lives and I don't want to always rely on them. Try to pay my own tuition.

6. Hopefully, get a boyfriend and let the relationship last for at least 100 days. I know this sounds really weird, but I haven't had a relationship that lasted for 100 days. The longest one was like 2 months and I start to feel like I have some problems.

7. Get a cat as a pet. A kitten, preferably. I just love cats.

I think this is all I can think of right now. If I think of more, I will add here. I hope everyone who reads this or everyone in the world has a wonderful start of the new year.

Happy New Year <3

Liz
xx

ps. I'm thinking about changing my name to Jacqueline.

2011-12-23T05:09:00.000-08:00

Sometimes things happen when you least expect it. I guess that's what people call fate. I have known this boy for almost five years now and for a long time I lost contact with him. Somehow, we both came to Korea in this July, but we didn't even know we were here in Korea together. But a few days ago, we somehow reached each other via msn. Then we made appointments right away and finally hung out today. It was really amazing because he was about to leave for China in four days. Perfect timing, eh? He cancelled all his appointments today and came to meet me. We met at 1 p.m. and hung out until around 8.30p.m. I had a wonderful time. We had Spanish for lunch, then went to this place called 'quiz cafe' and played Wii games and solved some quiz for two hours. After that, we were just walking around and saw many pretty shops and cafes. We got kind of hungry (actually only me) and we went to get crepe. Yum yum~ After that, we went to this cafe/bar to get some cocktail and juice. We talked and talked endlessly for about an hour. It was really good to talk to him again. When we were both in China, we used to talk every single day about everything. We would just joke around and do pranks on each other but the time we spent together was incredible. After meeting him, the feeling of nostalgia came and I could smell the air I used to smell back in China four years ago. I am so glad I could see him before I left for Paris. After we finished our drinks, we went out and walked for a while and arrived at a small restaurant that sell cup rice. We had our small dinner and went back home (he had to go to some place to get some books so we parted early). Once again, it was really amazing to see him. I got some other memory in Korea that I can cherish. I feel so lucky and I am very grateful for everything.

liz
xx

2011-12-20T20:49:00.000-08:00

I'm at work right now, but don't really have anything to do. I just came here to replace my manager while she is gone on a holiday to Hong Kong. So, let's talk about Christmas. My coworkers and I were talking about Christmas while listening to some Christmas songs. Then suddenly, this thought struck me: What the hell will I do for Christmas? It is weird, but I always didn't know what to do on Christmas. So it was more like a day I dream of and just anticipate. It is more important before it comes, rather than the actual day. Do you get it? Anyways, everyone else seems to have their plans: going to church, hanging out with friends, and dating. I might as well just go to the church with mom and have some nice dinner out. It's so awkward because our family didn't really celebrate Christmas like others do. My mom, brother, and I are Catholic, but my dad is not. And my brother doesn't even care about church or anything related -he thinks it's the most idiotic way of wasting money to decorate Christmas tree and give presents or write Christmas cards. What a jerk.- so it is actually just me and my mom. I guess I will get some Christmas cards and small gifts for my family. I wish I had actual good plans, like traveling, or decorating Christmas tree next to a fire place. That would be actually awesome. But it wouldn't happen, at least for this Christmas. Last Christmas was awesome. I went to Albania with my friend and spent the day with her family, decorating Christmas tree and having a nice dinner with some wine. I really miss her and her family. I know I am kind of complaining about how I don't have any awesome plans for Christmas, but I will miss it once I go to Paris. I will miss my family so I should spend more time with them. Oh well, I guess I should go back to pretending-to-work mode. Merry Christmas for everyone!

liz
xx

2011-12-19T04:33:00.000-08:00

Finally I'm back. Okay I didn't mean to be away this long. I caught a cold and I just thought that it would go away soon. You know, just a stupid cold that involves some coughing, blocked nose, and sore throat. But oh my God, no I completely underestimated the power of this little cold. It developed into flu and all my body started to ache and I also had fever. And when the fever finally left me alone, sinus infection came to visit me. And trust me, it was the worst guest I have ever come across. It stayed with me for around five days without any notice. Thanks to my lovely guest, I had to visit the hospital twice and had to get injection twice. What an affable guest. But now it seems like it is gone. So I will be updating more often from now on. I hope no one who is reading this is sick.

liz
xx

2011-12-10T17:11:00.000-08:00

Hi all. Yes I know I haven't updated this blog for a while, but I do have a good excuse. I was sick the whole weekend and Friday. I couldn't even go to work on Friday because of the endless coughing. I even went to the hospital (which I hate with all my heart) and even took some medicine (which I hate even more than the hospital), it doesn't seem to get better. I have a runny nose (gross) and I cough and sneeze restlessly. Last night, in the middle of the sleep, I woke up because I had to cough. It lasted for good three minutes, but thankfully, I fell back to sleep right away.

So, basically, I spent Friday and Saturday at home all day, watching TV or movies in bed or just sleeping. Tomorrow is Monday again, and I have to get ready for my work. I have to go there early tomorrow for a week (that's what my manager told me at least). I hope I get better soon. I've had enough of this cold! Okay, I don't really have anything more to say now. Sorry if I kept you bored. Bye!

ps. Please don't catch a cold like me. Wear warm clothes!

Liz

2011-12-04T15:46:00.000-08:00

It's 8.47 a.m. Well I should say that I got up pretty early today. It's embarrassing but I've been getting up at over 9 a.m. When I get up, usually the sun is already out. Well, it's just that I don't feel the need to get up early. I used to work from early morning before, so I had to wake up. There was no exception. But now, I don't work in mornings, so I just keep thinking to myself that it is okay to just slack a little. So, I'll tell you what I have been doing all these mornings.

Firstly, when I wake up, I just stay in bed for another 30 minutes. When I finally get out of the bed, I just turn on my laptop and go on my fb (yeah, everyone I do have fb and kind of addicted to it.) and youtube. I check whatever is going on with everyone else on fb while listening to some songs. After that I choose a movie or a comic to watch. Then pretty much for 2 hours I watch whatever I chose. When it's all done, I don't have much time to eat lunch so I just rush and then I eat as quickly as possible and dress up and get ready to go out.

Isn't this amazing? I have been doing this pretty much all morning since November. It's been a month now, and it's time to stop. So today, I decided that I should make some plans from now on until I leave for France. Okay these are the ones I came up with:

1. Studying French. For sure, because I actually have to speak at least a little to live in Paris, don't I?

2. Reading books. I mean I don't even know if I will have this much free time to read a lot in Paris.

3. Drawing some pictures. I know this might sound silly but I do love drawing. Or.. more like being creative.

4. Staying away from my laptop. I really need to do this because you could see the dark circles around my eyes from a hundred miles away.

5. Less movies and comics! Well, this should be included in #4 but just to emphasize a little more. Enough of movies and comics!

6. Playing the guitar. Seriously, don't I love music? I should play more often.

I'm not sure if I will keep all these plans, but at least I am trying to. But one thing I know for sure is that I have to stop this slacking! All right, wish me luck!

liz

2011-12-01T04:58:00.000-08:00

Hi you all. So here it came. Without any warnings, just like it should be. What do I mean? Don't you know it already? It is December I am talking about. The month of Christmas. The feast of the colors red and green and even white and gold. Right now I am listening to Last Christmas by Wham. I know there are many good Christmas songs but this song is and will always be my favorite. I don't know what is it, but only when I listen to this song, then it feels like real Christmas. If I don't listen to this song, then it would be like a fake Christmas. Do you know what I mean? You might call me old fashion but since I was young, this song literally means Christmas for me. But anyway. I can't believe it is already December. Who knows? Soon I will be celebrating Christmas and New Year. This December kind of means a lot to me. This will be the last full month I will be spending in Korea this year and I want to have as many good memories I can here. Not only doing crazy stuff, but actually spending enough time with the people I care about. I was flicking through the pictures I uploaded on DA two years ago. They were showing the pictures of my high school years and my room in China. That room actually was the best room I have ever had, with all the pictures and artworks I have made on the wall, a long comfortable, cozy sofa next to my bed, and my dear piano. It was the best room. Then suddenly I was caught in a nostalgic storm and terribly missed my high school days. I know I didn't really like it back then but when I look back and think about it, I really miss it. So I learned. I should really cherish this moment right now. Who knows, I will miss it after two years from now.

Maybe life is all like that.
I wanted to buy Yamaha piano for the first thing when i earn money, but i have never been near to that.
Instead, i go to the dentist's, go to market, and have meals.
Most of the money is spent for the things i need, and the days pass by like that.
However, after some time, i would notice, that those times i have been spending were as valuable as the adventure i have dreamed,
that those times spent by going to movies, having meals, going to amusement parks, and gossping would become recollections that can never be replaced by any other adventure,
that this time, right now, could be another adventure.
In fact, even now, i think i have noticed that a little.

photo by ByeByePony

2011-11-30T04:48:00.000-08:00

So, I'm back. After all these days, yes. I was quite busy dealing with visa stuff and finally, I went to the French embassy to turn in all the documents and also to Campus France to have the interview. I have told so many people about how the interview went and I'm tired of explaining repetitively, so I will make it short: IT WENT WELL. So, you are looking at a girl who is leaving for Paris on 7th of January. I mean it is not sure or anything but I am pretty confident. I have to go to the embassy again next Tuesday to get the translated documents I turned in yesterday. I don't know what will happen later, but one thing I am sure is I am very excited. I hope everything goes well. I miss my friends and mostly, I miss my life alone. I will write soon again.

Liz

2011-11-25T23:27:00.000-08:00

I have a headache. I know I should be sleeping now, but I don't think I will ever fall asleep since I have a lot to think about. And if I sleep right now, I will feel like I have wasted time again. I mean, the whole day I didn't do anything but just watching stupid TV shows and some weird Japanese movie. It might sound like I don't like TV shows and movies. But don't get me wrong, I am in love with this one Japanese drama called 私が恋愛できない理由. This is one amazing TV show which shows lives of four girls in Tokyo. It's so realistic and かわいいいー　I hope the next episode comes out as soon as possible~ I cannot wait until next Tuesday... What am I talking about again.. I should be sleeping. If you see me now, you would be surprised because of the dark circles around my eyes. So... おやすみなさい、みんな！

2011-11-22T20:21:00.000-08:00

Hey again. You are not mistaken. I am writing on this blog for the second time today. I was just going through my notebook and then I just found a story I wrote last summer while I was working at a bakery. So, while sitting down on a lovely cafe I just found at Hyewha, I want to share the story with you. It's not funny or witty, but just will you please be kind to read it? Here it starts.

A girl is on a bus. She is standing because there is no empty seat. But she is very tired since she had been standing for eight hours at work today. She looks around to see if anyone is getting off soon. But she only sees people sleeping or reading books. After she looks around one more time, she gives up. She leans on the bar next to her and thinks that she will be going home like that. As she thinks so, she captures a small movement from the corner of her left eye. She turns to see and she sees an old lady grabbing her purse to get ready to get off. She thanks God and moves slowly toward the old lady. But as she gets close to the old lady, she captures another movement. She sees a boy gathering his books and picking up his backpack. Now she has to consider which seat to take. She stands in the middle of the two seats and thinks about which one can give her the most benefit. If she takes the old lady's seat, she will have to be under the sunshine for the rest of her ride home, but it will be easier for her to get off from that seat. On the other hand, if she takes the boy's seat, she will be sitting right under the air-conditioner but it will be inconvenient for her to get off from there. She thinks for a while and then decides to take the boy's seat because she wants to feel the cool air. She moves toward him and the bus stops at the stop. The door opens and she waits for the boy to get off but he doesn't. She realizes she was wrong about the boy getting off, she quickly turns to get the old lady's seat. But the only thing she finds is the sleepy face of the old lady.

This is kind of the story of my life back in last summer, before I left for London. I was frustrated every day for working 7-8 hours a day, standing and taking orders. But I think it was still memorable and it feels very nostalgic to read this story again. And there is one more story I wrote today, while eating lunch alone. I want to share this with you as well. Hope it's not too much trouble?

A girl is having lunch by herself. If it was someone else, he/she would be feeling quite embarrassed or self-conscious but this girl is used to eating alone. In fact, she likes it that way much more. Why? Here, let me tell you the benefits of eating alone. First of all, you don't have to think about the person you are with. What I mean is that you can do whatever you want. For instance, you can take how much time you want to choose a menu. In addition, you can choose anything you want regardless of the other person. I mean, you wouldn't want to eat something with strong garlic flavor if you were with someone, would you? But you can do that if you are eating alone. Also, you don't have to think about how fast or slow you eat. You can start and finish whenever and however you want to. Secondly, you get to see and hear things that you wouldn't have noticed if you were eating with someone else. Like how the food is being made, what the staff and other customers are talking about. Or eve, you can notice that one of the other customers is wearing the same coat as you. It is like taking off your earphone while some music is playing on a bus or subway. Suddenly, you notice so many tiny details you would have missed otherwise. Thirdly, you can have some time on your own. You can think about things that you have to or you want to, i.e. daydream without limits. You can also write down what you are thinking, like I am doing right now. I am very aware of other advantages you might have when you eat with someone else, especially if it is someone you love or care about, but no matter what, I think I prefer eating alone for those reasons I have just listed. So now tell me, what do you prefer?

Lemon tea here is so tasty. I guess I will be coming here A LOT. ← you see these capital letters? If you do, then you will know how serious I am.

will write soon again.

2011-11-22T14:45:00.000-08:00

I haven't updated my blog for a while and I feel kind of guilty. But I have my reasons not to do so. Firstly, I started to watch this Japanese drama my friend recommended and I fell in love with it. I just couldn't stop watching it, except the fact that there is no episode 6 with Korean subtitle stopped me. I guess if there was one with subtitle, I wouldn't be sitting here writing on this blog. But since that did not happen, but which I am still waiting for, I am updating this blog with a big blanket wrapped around me. Since the last time I updated, it got much colder and just looking at the closed window in my room makes me cold. I'm just too scared to open those windows because I know this evil winter wind will come into my room in a second. I mean I wanted this weather to be cold. But that was when it was blazing hot and rainy which made my skin all sticky and gross. I really loved the fall in Korea this year. Red, yellow, orange, and brown leaves everywhere, fallen down on the street which made it look like a fall wonderland (if there is one, I mean). I instantly fell in love, but then it didn't last that long. After a rain the leaves were all gone from the trees and suddenly, bam! Cold winter wind is trying to get to your skin. Sorry, I digressed again haha. What I wanted to say is that the weather getting cold is the second reason I haven't updated. I know it sounds lame- but when you are too cold, you are busy warming your body up and you don't really want to do anything else. Okay, I admit it. Watching that drama was the biggest reason and this weather-getting-cold reason was merely an excuse. It's good to tell the truth haha.

So, France. I guess it is going pretty well. I am going to pay for my accommodation today and get contract from them to apply to visa. And my interview is in less than a week! This kind of makes me nervous but if you think about it, what is there to be nervous about? I can just tell them how I love studying in different countries, learning about their culture and language. Just be honest, and be enthusiastic, and you will pass, right? This is not like a job interview at a huge firm, it's just a visa interview. Almost anyone can get it, right? I just hope it comes out on time so that I can visit my friends in England and spend lots and lots of time with them before I leave for Paris. Can't wait.

2011-11-16T17:33:00.000-08:00

I bought a notebook around a week ago to write down the things I learn - English and French. I don't usually buy notebooks because I never really use them once I buy them. But I needed one for my studies and this one's cover caught my eyes. On the cover it says:

dance

as though no one is watching you,

love

as though you have never been hurt before,

sing

as though no one can hear you,

live

as though heaven is on earth.

There are many notebooks or other stationary things that have witty saying on them lately, but I don't know why this one caught my eyes. Maybe because I wanted some guidelines on how to live my life? And the phrases on the notebook was quite satisfying for me? Basically it's telling you to live your life happily and don't care what others think. It is such a cliche. But I think cliches can be useful sometimes because lots of the time we forget the norms and take things for granted. Besides, it is always good to have some kind of a reminder, isn't it?

2011-11-13T17:11:00.000-08:00

Life is weird sometimes. Things can turn out as you want it to be even if you didn't actually attempt to do anything. You worry about it all day and night to the point you cannot concentrate at work or sleep at night, but one day you wake up, it is solved. I didn't know but life has more surprises in it than I thought. I did wish for this to happen but somehow I feel like I gained it too easily and it's just making me a little listless. I'm trying to calm myself down a little with a cup of rosemary tea. It is weird, drinking tea makes me think clearer than before and calms my mind. Maybe this is why tea is loved by so many people in so many different countries. I do envy people who live in a country where there is teatime. But I think it doesn't matter if the country has teatime or not. What is important is that if I love tea, I can just make my own teatime. I don't have to care about what other people think. Hmm.. I don't know how I ended up with this. Sorry I digress a lot. Anyhow. I was saying that no matter how much you want something it doesn't happen if it's not meant to do. But if it is meant to happen, then it happens even if you didn't try. So don't worry too much about something, but also you cannot just stop trying. Because the destiny can be changed.

2011-11-12T06:15:00.000-08:00

I wondered why websites like Facebook is so famous. Then I found the answers. One is that you can reach your friends no matter where they are. The other one, the more important one is that you can see what other people are thinking and express what you think as well. Also this makes you wonder what other people would say about your pictures, your statuses, or your comments. People always want to fit in because we are social animals. I read in some psychology book that if someone keeps avoiding interacting with other people, then there must be some problems in that person's life, since we cannot live without social contact. I agree with whoever said that, and Facebook used that theory very well. We always have to interact with others and we always wonder and care what others think about us. But if you think about it, it's the same for everyone. Let's say some people said something that makes you feel lame. But I bet that same person is afraid of someone else doing the same thing to him or her. I guess we will never get out of this caring-about-what-other-people-think-about-me thing because of the same reason I explained above, but let's try not to care too much. Because after all, it is our own lives, and the main characters are us, not some stupid girl who tells you you're fat and ugly or some football player who looks down on you. And remember that they also are scared of the same thing as you.

2011-11-11T21:59:00.000-08:00

I want to write about fat people. I cannot really consider myself 'fat,' but it feels like I am getting there because of excessive consumption of chocolate and other sweets without doing any exercises. I just had some discussion on this with my dear friend. He said that guys don't like slender women that much. And I said but they don't like fat women either. His reply really made me think: that's because you think there are only slender and fat women. He definitely has some point there. Like most people, I tend to think that there are only two kinds of people: fat and slender people. However, there are people in the middle as well. But to think about it, why do we care about appearances so much? I say this out loud and I might even get angry with the world for only valuing the appearance, but later I soon will be thinking, 'I should lose some more weight,' or 'I look terrible, I should put some makeup on.' Everyone is full of contradictions.

I don't even know why I started writing this, or what I was going to write here. But I am sure about something. I need some tea to calm me down now.

2011-11-08T15:19:00.000-08:00

I recently fell in love with Maroon 5. It feels like none of their songs are bad. She'll be loved, This love, Misery, Wake up call, Sunday Morning, Never gonna leave this bed, Goodnight Goodnight... Adam Levine's voice is sexy and addictive. Well, I guess it's addictive because it's sexy. It's quite hard for guys to make such high-pitched voice but he is doing a wonderful job. But it's not only Adam's voice that is making me want to listen to their songs more and more. The instrumental part is amazing too. Especially lots of guitar solos and the beats. Awesome tune. I'm wondering why I didn't like them since a long time ago, because songs like This love is so popular and even I have heard of it. But anyways, I found them now and love their songs so I don't have any more complaints or anything. Now I am going to put them on my phone. But I should wait for my nail polish to dry. It's translucent pink, just in case you want to know :)

2011-11-07T18:46:00.000-08:00

I typed in 'How can I be happy?' on Google. The first thing that caught my eyes was WikiHow. Then I laughed at myself for googling that question. How desperate do I have to be to learn how to be happy by reading? You cannot learn how to be happy like you learn how to solve a quadratic equation. It's out there. Not on some stupid WikiHow. There are ups and downs in everyone's life. Because there are the downs, the ups exist. I know, it's easier said than done. But haven't I known this for long enough time? Isn't it time for me to actually proceed and do it? I guess I still need to grow up.

2011-11-07T04:13:00.000-08:00

I don't know what to do now. Well obviously I don't like him as I used to. I wish I could, but no one can force someone to like someone else. It is just me being not responsible. I am the one who brought this up. The whole idea of dating long-distance. He was the one who hesitated and I was the one who said we should go out. I regret it now and I was worried that I would regret my decision back then when I made it. Now it's irreparable. Things that are done are already done. Milk spilled. Now it is time for me to do my duty. I wonder why I always do this. I date someone and after a month or two, I regret everything. Is is because of my dad? or my brother? I am not blaming anyone here, but I just want to know why I do this. Someone likes me and I start to like him too but soon I get tired of him. I see his weaknesses and I just want to break up as soon as possible. But I don't want to hurt him on the other hand. I need to grow up quickly. This shouldn't go on like this. I wish someone can stop me every time I want to date someone without being sure that I actually like that person.

Now, can you tell me what I should tell him please?

Autumn

2011-11-06T01:58:00.001-07:00

Spring, Summer, and Winter all have only one name. But why does Fall have two names; Fall and Autumn? Isn't that weird? But if you think about it, maybe it is because you can see so many different sides of this season. One word is just not enough to convey the colors and the tastes it has.

I have spent 2011's Summer in Korea. I thought it would only be that, but I'm still in Korea during this beautiful Autumn time. It is purely amazing how the colors of the trees have become and how they make 'the Autumn wonderland' out of all the different colors of leaves fallen on the ground. I feel like leaf-fighting or making leafman if that's possible. I wish to share the feeling with people who might drop by my blog. Here they are:

Right now I am teaching little kids English at a small school. I am very grateful that I have got this opportunity and I am trying my best to make every minute worth. I feel like I will miss my kids so much when I leave.

Now I'm waiting for my peppermint tea to cool down a little. I just poured boiling water and it looks dangerously hot. I'm going to wait a little. You know, it feels like people in modern world have to learn to wait. They are all just looking strai

ght ahead. They need to know that sometimes, it is good to just stop their hasty walks and rest a little. And when it is necessary, look back a little too. To remember and to smell the scent of the past.

I hope my tea is cooled down a little now.

lizzie

London ♥

2011-02-23T08:05:00.000-08:00

It's been such a long time since I updated this blog. Nothing is special except that I am in London now. A beautiful city, London is. I have been trying to enjoy my life here and make the best out of it so far, but sometimes it just does not work well. I am having one-week holiday now and it is already Wednesday, but I have done nothing special except for maybe going to Hyde Park. But all I remember is being extremely cold, horse shit, garlic bread with mozzarella, a joggler, and an amazing cinnamon roll. I guess my life evolves around food. haha. Here are some pictures I took in London. Enjoy♥

Seoul's sky makes me think.

2010-08-07T09:06:00.000-07:00

I was looking for a rainbow.

I couldn't find one.

She said that it was okay, that I would find one tomorrow.

But, my dear, what if I only live in the present?

Everything is blocked in China.

2009-11-21T02:14:00.000-08:00

Youtube is blocked in China.
Facebook is blocked in China.
Tweeter is blocked in China.
and Blogspot was blocked in China.
I was so sad that I almost threw my cell phone at the laptop.
when I found out that Blogspot was working, I almost danced in front of my laptop.

so nice to meet you again.
it's been a long time.

Trip to Weihai...

2009-01-05T22:53:00.000-08:00

i had a lot of fun taking pictures of graffiti on this trip. :D but i didn't really go outside that much becuz it was really really really hella cold. I HATE WINTER!! if it wasn't that cold, i mean, if it was spring or fall or SUMMER (yay!! *ㅠ*), i could have go to the beach and do crazy stuff!!

at the bus i took- it took me about... an hour and a half to get there :D

Yantai's winter sky- on the bus

he's waiting for a bus, i guess :)

it was toooo cold! - mom's feet

GRAFFITI!!!! but not very very awesome T-T

Korean and Chinese flags

-OPENED-

i found this thingy in a vintage shop xD funny-

HA BA- the shop's name

it was on a door- eagle!! graaaaah!

Visit again!

Japanese and Korean shop

hihihi~ with all the colthes i bought :D

Frozen lake at University of Shandong

i wanna climb up there xD

CHRISTMAS!!!!

2008-12-29T04:15:00.000-08:00

It was one of the best Christmas ever- xD
I made chocolate chip cookies and a coffee smelling cake :D
I was happy- hehe... But I got drunk and did some stupid things like... losing my phone (I found it soon :D) but a Chinese guy saw me being dizzy and can't walk right, he talked to me and I said something stupid- he asked me what I was looking for (i was looking for my phone) and I said, "SHOUJI!!!!! xD" which means phone- I don't really talk to strangers but I was drunk -_- and I called one of my friends and said something really stupid too- and he made fun of me the next day.
Whatever- it was a very nice Christmas!!

Yes, you are right. she's my mom. :D

BAKING POWDER!!!

cowman!!! xD he's effing awesome!!

It's the cake my mom bought for us :D

xD at the bakery-

Hi everyone :D yes- it's bambi~

Chinese candle- this one's really really really funny xD xD It rotates and... i don't know how to explain it -___ㅜ too bad. but it's cool- hehe

-DAD- i don't look like him at all...;;

I don look like her :D

At a Japanese restaurant- the food was soooooo GOOD!!!

Pork steak that i ordered

That's me again lol

SOOOOOOO CUTE!!!!

LALALALA~ cooking is FUN!!

hehe- kids are playing with the balloons xD

There u go~ that's the cake i made for christmas and for everyone!! it was my first time making a cake, so.... it doesn't look so good. T-T

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

christmas shopping!! xD

2008-12-24T07:14:00.000-08:00

LALALALA~ Chritmas shopping is always happy :D People should go chritmas shopping alone.

At a bus stop- I hate wating bus.. T-T

At the bank... I had to get money from there- yes! bank rob!! xD

cute picture :]

This building has about 22 clocks :D interesting one-

YAY!! JUST GO TO JUSCO!!

i went to stationary corner to buy my BBF a gift. It took me a lot of time to decide what to buy...

She loves drawing, and she's very good at it :D

colorful tape-

what are you-_-?

cute post-it

christmas cards!!! YAY >A<

Gelpens made in Japan-

sketchbooks- I wanted to buy one, but..... too expensive!

a dead chocolate mouss-______- poor you.

A letter to my Japanese tutor :D

This is what i bought for her- my Jap tutor xD i hope she likes it.

I spent a great time shopping by myself :D i should do that more often.

Always the same...

2008-12-23T04:08:00.000-08:00

Recently, nothing special happend.

As always, today started with Rubix's Cube :)

Don't stare at me-_- I don't like those things-

Footprints... whenever I see them, I'm sad- don't know why.

At Miran- their new menu: Chocolate Mouss.

Me and my BBF went to Yantai University Market- saw this shirt with completely nonsense Korean on it.

Mom bought me a shirt- purple one. It looked good on me :D

I watched a Japanese drama with Chinese subtitle. She's saying "I'm sorry."

... um... he's sick, haha;;; he's at a hospital.

She has some mental problem. She thinks everyone hates her-_- weirdo.. She's saying "Very good."

Me and my BBF's scrapbook- lovely :D

Snowing...

2008-12-21T17:28:00.000-08:00

I guess it'll snow a lot this year. This is the third snow-

They look like icecream- i want to poke it xD

From my window...

Snow flakes are always cold and cute :D

Beginning...

2008-12-19T16:39:00.000-08:00

Bambi's pictures--- taken in 2 years

oh~ Seoul's sky

At Gangjin, Korea

On the way to our old school building...

My granddad's aloe farm

Park Maronye- don't know if the spelling is rigt.. it's in Korea

Gangwondo, Korea

At aloe farm

My feet- Mt.Lao, Qingdao, China

Mt. Lao, a lake

From the hotel room- Qingdao, China

Yantai, China - secret place!

Yantai, China- secret place!!

Yantai, China. the secret place!!

Weihai, China. the beach

Weihai, China. From the 찜질방

Weihai, China. at the port

Yantai, China- lovely house

In a park, "what are you doing there?"

Old Chinese building- i love the color:D

At my apartment- night sky

In Yantai, China

On the way to Qingdao, China

On the way to my old school building...

Just umbrellas.. Gangjin, gradpa

Gangjin, Korea. Yes, i'm Catholic!